Christmas!

Christmas! Love it or hate it it comes round relentlessly and it is difficult not to get caught up in all the hype, overspending and overindulging!
When I was a working priest I came to hate the Christmas season which generally began in about the first week of December. I remember, for many years, having to conduct a carol service for the Brownies on about the first monday in December. Invariably I had a filthy cold (man-flu of course!), felt pretty lousy, the church was feeezing cold, and the Brownies doing the readings and prayers inaudible, despite microphones! This was followed in quick succession by a series of Christmas lunches, dinners or parties for the various groups within the parish who always expected the parish priest to turn up and felt slighted if you were double booked. So by the time Christmas actually arrived this particular parish priest was dead on his feet, far too full of Christmas dinners and had sung "O Little town of Bethlehem" about 20 times, and as for having something fresh to say (off the cuff!) for each and every group required rather more preparation that time allowed. Because believe it not, the other every day work of the parish priest went on - and that generally included a increased number of funerals as some of the elderly very inconveniently would die in the run up to Christmas, and their beloved relatives always wanted the funeral done before Christmas (so that they could still go off ski-ing), so alongside the crib service, the Midnight mass, and trying to visit the ladies decorating the church for Christmas, often on Christmas Eve would had a 40 mile round trip to the crematorium.
So on Christmas Day after church, this particular parish priest would fall asleep very quickly, and by about 8.00 in the evening would give up the struggle and go to bed!

I rather wish I had been a purist and refused absolutely all invitations to Christmas events on the ground that December is the season of Advent - the time of preparation for the great event of Christmas - the coming of Christ in the event of the Incarnation: no carols to be sung until Christmas Eve, and the carol service to be help on the Sunday AFTER Christmas. The one year I did try that- there was great murmuring against the parish priest and a noticeable lack of people attending. You see how we have turned everything on its head and now celebrate before the day. We have lost the great anticipation of Advent. So when we try to keep the 12 days of Christmas - right up to January 5th, most people have had too much and have given up by Boxing Day.

Do I believe in Christmas? Well yes I do. I am not too sure about the details of the Christmas story, but what I do believe is that at a certain time in history, in the person of Jesus, God acted for the salvation of the world. The problem is that most of us have not understood it. As one writer put it recently, think about our little globe spinning through the infinity of space and how tiny it is in comparison. Then think about how, throughout human history, men have fought and spilt much blood, and sacrificed millions of lives to control little bits of our globe which we are in danger of destroying through our activities. It is mind boggling! And we shall sing "Peace of earth!" and then carry on our petty squabbles.

"O Little town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie". A town now ringed by a ghastly wall and in which the Christian presence is being squeezed right out. It is no longer a peaceful town and perhaps we ought to ban that particular carol for the time being!

So some not very Christmassy thoughts but I wish my reader a very happy Christmas and hope to you will have a very happy one and think about the real meaning of the season.

THE PANTOMIME SEASON

We went to the Panto last night and it was brilliant! It was "Snow White" performed by the Chelmsford area Young Farmers. Not knowing quite what to expect we were very pleasantly surprised by the high standard of production - not "West End" but perfectly enjoyable local am-dram story telling, acceptable to all the family, and excellently staged. There was music, dancing, slapstick, "He's Behind you!" together with all the booing and hissing that goes with panto and the usual really corny jokes. It just proves that family fun does not always have to be crude and vulgar to be enjoyable - and it was all the better for it. There were some really funny moments which engaged the whole audience from children right up to grandparents. It is a pity it is on for only 4 performances.

It reminded me of the times when we used to go with our kids to the Panto at the Mercury Theatre in Colchester: being theatre chaplain did give me some benefits! It was always a good family entertainment from a regular crew of actors who were there year by year, but ever fresh.
For a few years we introduced a "Pantomime Carol Service" when the cast would come and sing carols interspersed with readings, biblical and secular. Interestingly the cast would not appear on stage "in character" as it was regarded as bad luck, but they came and were very supportive - I am quite sure it had nothing to do with the splendid buffet lunch that the theatre provided for them afterwards - before the matinee! But, for me, it was where Christmas started because there was a exceptionally high standard of reading, singing, and enjoyment, and after the first year or two, as word spread, the theatre would be full of people who came from local churches, or shoppers who were lured in for a break from the Christmas rush.

I met some lovely people in that time and was privileged to minister to people who worked in a transient occupation and who suffered the same stresses and strains as the rest of us - and often more of them because of the pressure of the job. I conducted weddings, baptisms and funerals for some of the theatre population and did a fair amount of listening at moments of high stress. So the Panto season brings more than simple enjoyment - but also many happy memories!

Hello! My name is Doushal Sentry Duty which is a very silly name, so everyone calls me Scamp, which they say, jokily, Scamp by name, Scamp by nature. Really can't get my head round this humans-at-home kind of humour. But I do live up to my real name - when I am outside I patrol up and down the perimeter fence looking for other dogs, birds, rodents to bark at. Actually what I bark at most are snails - well they don't DO anything do they? Whenever I find one, they retreat inside their shells, so I bark very excitedly to get them to come and play. But they are so boring, they refuse even to look at me. We really could have a good game - I would lick them to death, if only they would let me. So boring. When I am indoors I like to sit on the windowsill in the garden room: I can see for miles across the fields - and I can bark at the birds - especially those 2 big white ones when they come into view. I think he said they were egrets, but what does he know?

Anyway - I have been given permission to write something this time - he said something about it being an early Christmas present - but he is such a tight-wad that I know he was not even going to buy me one - he's too mean even to buy a wallet - that's the Scots blood left in him, and I should know, with my Cairn blood in me. Actually, the Elliotts never were true Scots, they were a band of marauders who rustled cattle in the Borders, and now they pretend to be respectable! I ask you.

I've actually been very poorly for a couple of weeks. Puking and squitting all over the place. They took me to the dog-doctor who treated me abominably. All I wanted was to be left alone but he poked and prodded me all over, stuck something up my backside and said my temperature was normal, but I was obviously suffering from something, so he stuck a needle in me and took a load of blood out of me, and then stuck another needle in me to try and replace that blood but it didn't look like blood, I think he said it was Aunty's Biotics. Which Aunty is that? Whats a biotic when it is at home? This dog-doctor then gave instructions about what I could and could not eat - it seems to be next to nothing, but at least it is 3-4 times a day rather than once, and they do keep feeing my chicken and rice: rice is so boring, when you are young and lusty like me you want real food - lots of steak and potato, lots of fatty foods. But no - a non-fat diet. I ask you, its not very good for your street cred: and I've lost so much weight - I'm fair fading away. Here's a picture of me feeling right poorly. What a sorry sight I am. The dog doctor said that I have got pancreatitis for which there is no medicine or tablets, just careful eating which is so boring!

I must tell you about my girl friend. Her name is Ruby - actually she is a bit of a rough diamond, because she does love a good punch up. We meet several morning a week out in the fields and my human-at-home trusts me enough to let me off my lead whenever we meet so that we can have a bit of a lark around. Ruby and I get to see how many other dogs in the group get jealous - and also generally try and knock at least one other human over. That's not boring I can tell you! Ruby is a very good boxer (not boxer as in breed - boxer as in pugilist - big dog-word for one who is good with paws - paws at the kerb and all that mullarky which I have never bothered with - thats for softies - but maybe thats why they don't often let me off the lead....), so we have a bit of a punch-up and chew each other to bits, and then she loses interest. I sometimes wonder whether she is faithful........ But we did try to elope one morning last February. It was a great lark, but the thing was we got lost in the fog, and eventually they came to rescue us, but which time we were both exhausted and eloping had lost its appeal, so we went home.

So that's me. If ever you see me around Minnow End do stop for a sniff - there are such good smells on the posts and trees there - it's worth a visit.

See you!

Scamp

(Thats webdings for Scamp)

Gosh 3 weeks and I've not written anything! Life has been so full - but then I have been setting up my own webpage,which if you are not a computer geek can be troublesome - I'm not - and it was! But it is there for all to see at http://home.btconnect.com/minnowend.co.uk so do go there and have a browse as I am trying to do a few things that might
a.) promote the Christian Faith, and
b.) interest people, and
c. )amuse.

But if you log on regularly both to this and that we might entertain, keep me, as a 64 year old retiree parson, off the streets, and also from getting ready for the bath chair, which I dread! One of my son jokes regularly that, when when have been here a couple of years we are off to the old folks home and he will cash in. (Little does he know about all that I have left in store for him!!!!) AND what he doesn't know, is that by the time it gets to that point, we shall have taken ourselves off to Beachy Head with the idea of jumping together because neither of us fancy the other options. The problem is, we shall get to Beachy Head (and what a lovely place it is!) and forget why we went there in the first place: we shall have an ice cream, a bit of lunch, and say: "What a nice day we have had - shall we go home now?"

Actually, jumping off Beach Head is a ghastly idea. What do you think about when you fly through the air with the greatest of ease with the thought of hitting the ground and being so ....

As a Christian I have never seriously contemplated suicide - there have been odd occasions in deep depressions (oh yes) when the thought has flashed through one's mind - but seriously contemplating it? No. Life is too precious - a gift of God - and I do not think I could ever take that step. But then I have never had a debilitating or terminal illness which threaten to remove all life forces, choices and abilities.

Gosh, serious stuff for a friday night!!

Yesterday I went down to London for a hospital appointment. Once that was over I went on to The National Gallery. It must be 40 years since I last went there, but it was as magnificent as ever. I went to renew my acquaintance with the Impressionists, but also to look at the Titian that need £50,000,000 to keep it there. I went, I looked, I loved the colours, I loved the vibrancy, but being a philistine, I found the subject matter completely unmoved me. I came away saddened that anyone would even thing that any painting is worth that amount of money. I went back to Turner, to Van Gogh, to Manet, Monet and all the others, and had a very peaceful hour and a half. But fifty million pounds for one picture? No way. When the country is going through such difficult times with finance, murdered children, struggling schools and an NHS which cannot afford drugs for very ill patients(unless you luckily live in the right postal area), then surely we have our priorities wrong.

TURKEY - A PILGRIMAGE IN SEARCH OF ST PAUL

FOLLOWING ST PAUL BY LAND AND SEA

No journey to Turkey can begin anywhere other than Istanbul where east and west meet at the Bosphorus in a riot of colour, smells, people and wonderful buildings. We were met at the airport by our coach and our guide Sait – who was my guide on a previous visit and who was to be with us throughout our two weeks in Turkey. Such a useful person in providing all the information and finalising arrangements and sorting out problems that inevitably occur in a journey like this. But not least because of his encyclopaedic knowledge of his beloved country.

So, here in Istanbul (Constantinopolis, as Sait calls it) in a couple of days one can cram in visits to the Hippodrome, the Blue Mosque, and the Hagia Sophia (“Divine Wisdom”), once a Basilica, then a Mosque and now a museum. Include a visit to the Justinian Ciserns – underground – once featured in a James Bond film, and lunch at the Topkapi Palace where one can just spend the rest of the day drinking in the views, the treasurers and the atmosphere. A second day would include the Spice Market, the Grand Bazaar, the Suleimanye Mosque and the stunning frescoes and mosaics of the Church of our Saviour at Chora – now a museum. All that before lunch! Then there is then time to get on a boat and travel the Bosphorus stopping off for a wonderful repast at the Mer Restaurant in Tarabya.

The next morning an early flight took the party to Kayseri right in the middle of Turkey in the region called Cappadocia. We are now almost at the furthest point north in which St Paul travelled in “Asia Minor”. We immediately boarded a coach and headed off for the Zelve valley where we visited some weird pink stone “fairy chimneys” which, in many ways is reminiscent of Petra. After settling in to our hotel for a two night stay, there is time to relax with a swim in the pool before supper.

The next day was spent at the Goreme Open Air Museum. A fascinating area where we homes, churches, stores, and all manner of buildings are carved out of the rock. Some of these churches date from the very first centuries of Christianity. Over the next couple of days were to see some stunning paintings and mosaics.

In the afternoon an energetic few climbed the Kale – a rocky outcrop which gave stunning views. We also stopped at an underground city – Kaymakli which many found a little claustraphobic – but it was about the coolest place on an otherwise roasting day!

Then next morning most of us were up by

5 a.m. for a balloon ride over Cappadocia. This was amazing not least for the large number of balloons going up and down and gently gliding over the landscape. It was over all too quickly! But then it was back to the hotel for breakfast before setting off for the full day's programme, which included a visit to the Sultan Hani Caravanseri -excellently restored – and built like a cathedral. One could imagine when it was filled to the brim with travellers, animals, traders and full ofsmoke, noise, bartering and bustle!

We continued on our journey southwest, coming to Iconium (modern day Konya), which was a real spiritual centre. Here St Paul with Barnabas visited and made a number of converts– and here we encountered the Whirling Dervishes and the shrine to the mystic philosopher Celaddin Rumi. There was opportunity to borrow the local Catholic Church and celebrate the Holy Communion and reflect on the extraordinary tenacity of Paul and Barnabas who travelled so far on foot for the cause of the gospel. Hot, dusty, dry, but we travelled by modern air conditioned coach. Pilgrims are no longer so hardy!

The next couple of days included some amazing places visiting sites that Paul and Barnabas went to spread the gospel – Antioch in Pisidia (Yalvac), Derbe, Lystra and then Antalya. The first week finished with a visit to Aspendos – the best preserved Roman Amphtheatre in the world. It was truly stunning and we were treated to some singing by some school children which was truly lovely.

And so we began the second week, by coming to Finike marina where where embarked on a gulet for 7 days cruising along the south coast of Turkey. We had travelled over 500 km by coach in the steps of St Paul and now we were to relax and another way Paul and his companions travelled in order to spread the gospel.

Our gulet, Sultan A, was a most wonderful traditionally built craft with 8 twin en-suite cabins, and a crew of 3-4 to sail her and cook. It was a week of unparalleled luxury with some most wonderful dishes served for breakfast lunch and dinner all taken on the rear deck – under the cover of the awning, looking at some of the most spectactular views ever seen on the Turquoise Coast. At about 30 metres long she was large and spacious but also intimate enough for a

group of 14 people. Most sea going journeys were under motor power: sadly everytime the crew put up the sails the wind died away completely – it was one of those weeks. But a gulet under sail is quite an experience!Next time ---I promise!

Each day we would move on to a new place, journeying for 2-4 hours, leaving plenty of time to visit places on interest, and then relax, swim, sleep, read drink tea or have a glass of wine.

After a night on board we came to Myraere there are some magnificent Lycian tombs. Myra was the Metropolitan city of Lycia and St Nichol

as was Bishop in the 4^th century. In Myra there is a marvellous basilica which is a focus of pilgrimage for Russian Christians, and in the town there are 2statues – one the more traditional and the other

the more popular image of today. But I think I also like this one because she refused to move

until the picture had been taken!

I think she is Russian!

Our nights were often spent moored in one of the many rocky inlets along the coast, so it was always peaceful, and there was the opportunity to swim, or go ashore and walk. But being Sunday we celebrated Holy Communion and reflected on Paul, Nicholas and how blessed we were to be able to experience these lovely places.

The next few days were spent moving along the coast visiting the sunken city of Kekova, a Byzantine city, now submerged, to Kalekoy where the small hamlet climbs steeply to

the top, and where we were persuaded to purchase items made by the local women who were indefatigable in accompanying us to the top of the island

and back again, filling in the bits and pieces of history that even escaped our guide, Sait! We came to Kas where we stayed overnight in the little port. One afternoon, after a morning cruising along the coast we disembarked and boarded a minibus to take us into the heart of Lycia – to Xanthos and the Roman theatre and Byzantine citadel, and then to Patara, the birthplace of St Nicholas, and visited by St Paul on his thirds missionary journey.

Then next day we visited the Island of Gemiler which was the former site of a monastic community between the fourth and seventh centuries. There are still, on this small island, the ruins of seven churches, some still with wall paintings and a vaulted processional way linking the upper church to the monastery at the top of the island. Here again, we used one of the churches to celebrate Holy Communion.

We spent the last day cruising then into the harbour at Gocek for some last minute shopping and a real burst of reality as this busy little port was hosting a pop concert in the main square which kept the town and all its visitors awake until the wee small hours, when it was all too soon tim

e for the transfer to the airport for the journey home.

Why go on a pilgrimage? Ask the people who come on them! For some it brings the Christian faith alive: for others it is a life changing experience: for many it is the chance to have an unforgettable holiday in a Christian atmosphere enjoying some of the wonderful places of our world.

Turkey is a most wonderful land, full of lovely people. But there is a hint of sadness when one sees many ancient ruined churches and a tiny Christian presence. Did St Paul labour in vain?

Christopher Elliott

The English Language

There has been some comment in the newspapers, recently, about the poor spelling of many people who have passed through our education system. Teachers who cannot spell have also been in the limelight. As a one time school governor, way back in the mid 1980’s I know even then it gave cause for concern! But far be it from me to cast aspersions – I generally can spell accurately – but having done one little newspaper test only got 8/10!

But rooting through a box of papers recently I came across this little gem by U.N.Known.

Why English Is So Hard.

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox should be oxen not oxes.

Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,

But the plural of house is houses not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

The cow in the plural may be cows or hine

But the plural of vow is vows not vine.

And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,

But I give you a boot – would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

If the singular is this and the plural is these,

Should the plural of hiss be nicknamed hese?

Then one may be that, and these may be those,

Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.

We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine, she, she’s and shim!

So our English, I think you will agree

Is the hardest language you ever did see.

MEMORYLANE

The Office Manager (She Who Wears Another Hat – Head Gardener), called me in and said something to the effect that 6 box files had remained untouched and unsorted for about two years, and in the interests of the environment should be forthwith touched and sorted. “The Environment” has become a catch-all phrase that is intended to make one feel guilty and un-green. In reality, I think, it meant that they were cluttering up her office. So now they are cluttering up my office. So just when I should be writing a sermon for Sunday I find myself going back through history.

I cannot think why I should have a copy of the Daily Express dated Thursday November 5^th 1931 (one penny!) But it is fascinating reading: there was a fear that the UK was going to impose tariffs on all food imports so everyone was dumping their food on Britain – “Polish Bacon at 2p a lb.; “Flood of unwanted Soviet butter”. Another headline concerned “Devil Worship” in Finland and “Lord Kylsant in gaol”. But quite where it came from, and why I kept it, I shall never know. I then began to get very excited about “The Daily Universal Register” Saturday 1^st January 1785. That was Two-pence Halfpenny. It was issue number one, until I looked at the small print on the back page “Reprinted by The Times, 1985”. Ah well, can’t win them all!

There were several other such treasures, not least my school reports from the age of 4 until I left school at 18! They do not make such interesting reading, but apparently at the age of 7 I was good at composition, had very, very poor handwriting and was hopeless at boxing and soccer. Nothing much changed there then!

Another box revealed loads of photos, newspaper cuttings and documents that my late wife had tucked away and I had left untouched. I found a lovely letter, obviously written by one of the children:

The Dog Bowl

The Vicar’s House

On Top of a Hill

Next to a dishwasher,

DOG 3LE

Dear Mr RSPCA

My mummy smacked me put her in jail – for ever. All dogs go to heaven.

Buster.

Another box contained loads of old talks, sermons, training notes, children’s addresses and the like. Most of that has gone. I’m retired, for heaven’s sake! Memory Lane can be a pleasant and warm distraction, and sorry, but there are some things which will just be returned to their box and stored for another day. But I am not sure about the school reports…….

Christopher Elliott

GROWING STRAWBERRIES

Here's a good tip from the Head Gardener for growing strawberries vertically! If like us you are pushed for room in the garden find an old dustbin - we are using a plastic one. I drilled approximately 12 holes in the side about 1 inch (2 cms) in diameter, plus some smaller drainage holes in the bottom which were covered with broken crocks. Fill up to the first level of holes with a good mix of compost and soil, plant the first strawberry plants, fill up more soil to the next level, plant next layer, and so on to the top where 3 -4 plants can also be added.
Finally, a piece of plastic pipe (narrow bore) with holes drilled through the length of it can be inserted down through the centre to aid watering. I imagine a short piece of hosepipe would also do the trick.

BIRTHDAY PARTIES

Is one ever too old for a good old fashioned birthday party?
My youngest, attaining the grand old age of 30 last week declared that he did not have his fair share of tea parties when he was younger! So yesterday we put that right with good old fashioned tea, sandwiches (egg and turkey) sausages on sticks, sausage rolls, pineapple and cheese on sticks, iced gems, crisps, cake, and jelly and ice cream. It was great - nearly all the family together with his nephews and nieces. There was fizzy pop, and a gesture to the adults a little something stronger.
It was so much fun sitting around the table, chatting, playing games with the grandchildren and just being in each other's company. Then as it was turning dark, down to the park for a walk to go on the swings and roundabouts and climbing frames, when, I think, everyone forgot their age.
Only when we could no longer see did we head for home and a cuppa before getting back on the road.

I believe in parties - always have done because they are so important for bonding and keeping in touch. Oh yes, some are tedious - standing round with chardonnay and nibbles making aimless chatter can be pure hell, but sitting round the table, making conversation, laughing, joking, including all ages gives a foretaste of heaven - the company of friends old and new and family old and young. And the Blessed Lord is truly present when we are together.

PILGRIMAGE TO JORDAN AND EGYPT

Petra - The Treasury.




One of the things that I have done over the years is lead groups of people to interesting places! For instance in 2005 we went on a journey through Jordan and Egypt. It was a fascinating experience, taking in Amman, Petra, St Catherine's Monastery in the Sinai, and ending up in Cairo and many

other wonderful places in between. At key biblical sites we may retell the story, pray or celebrate Holy Communion, and we always have a local guide who travels with us throughout the journey.

St Catherine's Monastery

The Monastery of St Catherine is set in the midst of the Sinai desert where one would think that few people would be, but my! the coaches do pour in and one jostles for a little bit of peace and quiet to see "The Burning Bush" or the bookshop to buy a small icon, but yes it was possible to experience the loneliness and heat of the desert. For some there was the opportunity to climb Mount Sinai and see the dawn rise. Others of us followed our guide in the afternoon on a less taxing walk to meet a Bedouin living in the mountains with his wives, sons, grandchildren and to be entertained with tea and his singing to us. It was magical and moving.

In Cairo we did a huge amount in just 2 or 3 days - the Pyramids, the Sphinx, including a Son et Lumiere one evening which was amazing. A river cruise included dinner and both a belly dancer (mediocre!) and a whirling dervish (see picture) who was excellent. I suppose the highlight of the time in Cairo was seeing the Cairo Museum's section on Tutankhamun which was mind blowing and looked so fresh and clean as if it was all newly made instead of being several thousand years old.

It is always a privilege to take small groups of people on journeys like this. For some, it is the opportunity of a lifetime to see and experience some of the wonders of our God-given world, and to appreciate just what a diverse and rich place that we inhabit. I have seen people's lives changed by experiencing such a journey as this. Not forgetting that it is great fun in the company of Christian people. We are not overly "religious" and we do have fun, as well as trying not to impact too detrimentally on the lives of the people whose countries we visit. We always try and include visits to e.g. children's homes and sheltered workshops and take gifts in kind and cash.

Over the years I have taken groups to the Holy Land which is probably the greatest experience of all, the Passion Play in Oberammergau (Germany), and to Turkey. Accounts of these will follow in due course! I am sharing the leadership of a group to Oberammergau in 2010 - sadly the group is already full, but a trip to Turkey in 2011 0r 2012 is in the planning stages.

Yesterday's Times Newspaper (22nd October 08) carried an item on doing five simple things to stay sane.

1. Connect Developing relationships will enrich you.
   
2. Be active Sport, gardening, strolling maintain fitness
   
3. Be curious Consider the lilies of the fields.....and moments.....
   
4. Learn Keep the challenges coming!
   
5. Give Help friends and strangers links your happiness to a wider community.

Of course the advice immediately had its detractors, dismissing it as "banal", "subjective", and "trivialising mental illness".

It was probably the most important article in the whole of the Times yesterday! There is a fair amount of anxiety, frustration and concern around ranging from "Will I have a job to go to next month?" and "Can we still pay the mortgage?" to "How can I cope with my own feelings of depression?" We meet very few truly liberated people in the course of a day - and a truly liberated person is completely at peace with themselves - so I conclude that focussing on our own needs and relationships for a few minutes each day can only be good!
Chris

So where is Minnow End?
If you stick a pin slap bang in the middle of Essex (U.K.) it would stick in Minnow End, which is on the eastern side of Great Waltham, as you enter the village from Chelmsford, about 4 miles distant. There are no signs to tell you it is Minnow End, but the Ordnance Survey says that it is, and if you find the "Rose and Crown" (probably the nicest pub in Minnow End!!) you will find yourself in the midst of our hamlet. Some of the locals say this was originally Minor End- as opposed to "Church End" and North End". One guy, Chris Mills recently wrote that a map of 1895 calls it Minor End, but then I have a map of a hundred years before that calling it Minnow End!
A local inhabitant puts it down to local "DIY" spelling, because it was apparently once upon a time Minor Mead, or Minnamead.
Whatever, if you drive through too quicky (as most do) you won't even know you've been there because it is unmarked.