I always thought I had been born on a Thursday. (Thursdays child has far to go…), so it was something of a shock, a great bomb blast to my psyche, my very being, to discover that Mother was wrong. How could Mother be wrong on such an important matter as the day of my birth? If she was wrong on that, what else could she have been wrong about? For sixty four years I  have been living a lie, living under a misapprehension. Perhaps I better sign up immediately for therapy.  You see I have just discovered that I was born on a Friday (Fridays child is loving and giving….), which would of course explain why I never got very far in life. Oh dear. Oh very dear!

 

It was all part of some research into early life, family trees and all that jazz. I also discovered that I was born in the year of the Monkey. I got this from one website:

Monkeys are fun and loving persons who are always cheerful and energetic. They are very clever. Give a monkey a boring book to read and he'll turn it into a Musical. Better yet, he'll invite everyone to see it free! That's how talented, creative and generous monkeys usually are.

If you go to a party, you'll find Monkeys at the center of attention. Their charm and humour is the key to their popularity.

Most Monkeys have one fetish - FOOD. They are not pigs, they don't stuff themselves with food, instead, they just have this habit of eating snacks whenever they like, and wherever they like. And one last truth about monkey people is, they adore bananas. Go visit your monkey friend's kitchen, I bet you will find some bananas there

 

The only bit I recognize is the bit about bananas – spot on, the rest is completely not me!

 

Another website about Capricorns had this to say The wit and flippancy which is characteristic of certain Capricornians may make some turn to entertainment as a career.  Perhaps that is why I became a priest….   It said a great deal about Capricornians being subject to rickets and deafness.   Pardon? I didn’t quite hear that.

It is just as well I do not believe in astrology (but I have been known to read my horoscope just in case….) And to be serious for just one moment, when I read a huge amount of verbiage about what I should be like, it proved to me how much more important nurture and nature are than the influence of stars millions of miles away (which could already have ceased to exist because the light from those stars started the journey to my eye sight long before I was even born!)

London buses now proclaim that God probably does not exist.  S/He does! S/He has changed my life for the better and made me into what I am today, warts and all. Even if God did give me parents who did not always get it absolutely right they provided the nature, the nurture, the security, love and the environment for me to become what I am. That surely is something to be glad about. So perhaps I’ll pass on the therapy and start to write that Musical.

Christopher Elliott